No Doubt
by Commander Zia
Summary: 'Of everything he'd leave behind, Itachi had no doubt this was what he'd miss the most.' A character study of Uchiha Itachi. Pre-massacre


Thrown together because I got two reviews on my other Ita/Sasu brother fic 'Excess of Joy', and my own joy inspired me. Itachi's so adorable :D I need to get around to writing something about he and Sasuke running away instead of killing the clan. I suppose it'd have to be a little OOC, but who _wouldn't_ be stressed about having the kill their entire family?

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**N** o **D** o u b t

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Itachi never wanted to hurt anyone. This is what he told himself as he swung his third ANBU issue katana of the month into the thick tree, again and again, leaving behind large dents easily two inches deep. And he wasn't even trying. It was something Itachi never told anyone, let alone someone who mattered like his father or Shisui, but he never tried, never at anything. He could just _do_ things. Like how, on his fourth birthday, he'd just picked up the shiny new kunai his father had left lying on the dining room table. Itachi had taken the blade and cradled it in his cupped, baby-fat hands. It had felt so natural, so natural in fact that when his father rushed in, scolding him harshly for playing with his things, he'd just thrown it at the man. He hadn't meant for it to hit, had expected it to fly off or fall flat on the carpet like when he threw chopsticks at the family cat. Even as his father had been wiping the small dribble of blood from where the kunai had nicked his forehead the man had been smiling.

'You,' the man had said, shocking the young Itachi because he'd expected more angry shouting. 'You truly are my son, Itachi.'

It had always been this way with his father, even once his younger brother had been born. It was always Itachi this, Itachi that, Itachi go and train more so you can make our clan proud. His father may have missed it, but Itachi always noticed the hurt, desperate look in Sasuke's eyes each time their father ignored him in favor of Itachi. Itachi couldn't quite understand how Sasuke could still love him so much, when it was quite obvious he was the one making the boy's life miserable. But still, there he was, wooden play-shuriken clutched in his fingers, smiling toothily as Itachi came home from his latest B-ranked mission. 'Play with me nii-san!' Sasuke would say cheerily, somehow managing to ignore the blood up and down his brother's front. ''Tou-san got me a shuriken, see? Can you teach me how to throw it?' But that's how it always was, 'can you' and 'can we' and 'but you promised'. No one really knew Itachi at all, no one besides Shisui, but he was dead so he didn't count.

For a second Itachi let his eyes flicker bright red, and the sudden tug on his chakra would have made him stumb He was dead, anyways, so what did it matter?le if, as an Uchiha, he hadn't been trained his whole life for this.

Mangekyou…

Itachi had spent his whole life studying, studying and fighting. When he wasn't out on the training fields he'd been in the library, buried by the dusty old volumes. He knew more than most about the legendary sharingan, and still it seemed he knew barely anything at all. His eyes had been bleeding three nights ago, the first night after he'd run his only friend through, and all he'd been able to do was hole himself up in his room and pour over the old history books as he, every ten seconds or so, would wipe the blood from his cheeks. But the mangekyou had long been illegalized, and Itachi wouldn't be surprised to find out a ban on information had been put in place as well. The Sandaime had sent a couple ANBU to check up on him with some kind of excuse but when they'd shown up it wasn't as if they could have done anything. Hokage or not, this was something new.

Still, Itachi couldn't help but wonder how many other honorable shinobi had been sent to kill their comrades. If he was to ask, no doubt the Sandaime would say this was his first time, and it could have been. But there had still been three other reigns of Hokages in Konoha's history. Maybe the great Yellow-Flash himself had sent someone to their disgrace. If all the legends were true Itachi found it unlikely, but if, a month ago, someone had told him he'd be ordered to exterminate their entire clan, he wouldn't have believed a word. Goes to show.

"Itachi?"

Itachi turned quickly to see Sasuke, his wide black eyes staring up at Itachi in slight fear. It took Itachi a moment to realize it was because he'd come to the training ground straight after his last mission, and dried blood was still stuck to the skin of his face.

"What is it Sasuke?" Itachi asked softly, kneeling down and looking straight into the six-year-old's face. Itachi didn't think he could kill this boy, his brother, the one who, even now, made it all almost worth it. Itachi had tried to reason with the Hokage once, the first night, had shouted that so many of the clan were just children. The Sandaime had almost broken but the council had stopped him, giving him a lecture about shinobi duty. Something in Itachi almost wanted to run away. He could just pick up Sasuke and tell him they were in danger, the boy would believe him. He could tell him the truth later, even sooner if Sasuke didn't overreact. But Itachi couldn't do that to Sasuke, and if he went alone they'd just kill the clan themselves, the council members, or find someone else to do it. This way, at least, the Uchiha wouldn't have to go down in shame.

It took Itachi a moment to realize Sasuke had been talking.

"Nii-san. Nii-san, were you listening to me at all?" Sasuke asked, folding his arms over his chest in frustration, his lip turning down and into an adorable pout. Itachi cracked a smile, making the boy's scowl deepen. "Stop it Itachi!"

"Training, right?" Itachi asked, standing up and picking Sasuke in his arms.

"Yes." Sasuke said impatiently. "I finally got a real kunai, see?" Sasuke brought out the metal weapon, grinning proudly. "Iruka-sensei only gave them to the three best students 'cause he said we were the only ones who wouldn't hurt ourselves. The others still are using wooden ones!"

"I think I have an hour to spare for my little otouto." Itachi said with a mischievous grin, poking Sasuke hard in the forehead. The boy jerked back, reaching out to grab the appendage, but Itachi easily dodged the sloppy attack.

"Nii-san!"

Itachi could feel it in his heart, the darkness. Three more nights and that would be it. Three more nights and two more days. Two more days to pretend everything was normal.

"Nii-san- give my kunai back! Stop it! I hate you-"

Of everything he'd leave behind, Itachi had no doubt this was what he'd miss the most.


End file.
